Tag Archives: Monica Bellucci

A Week In Film #074: No more war

MR 73
Daniel Auteuil is a washed-up Marseilles cop looking for redemption in this downbeat Olivier Marchal policier. Most efficient.

Le Pacte Des Loups
Somewhat silly and unsatisfying period French action thriller about a killer wolf terrorising the countryside in the 18th century. Christophe Gans directs, Samuel Le Bihan and Mark Damascos are the experts drafted in to hunt down the Beast of Gévaudan, Vincent Cassel is a shady local aristo and Monica Bellucci is the mysterious courtesan. Some anachronistic martial arts scenes don’t really make up for the poor storytelling.

A Week In Film #027: Poop idle

Shoot 'Em Up title screen

Shoot ‘Em Up

Clive Owen as a mysterious man drawn into a complicated web of intrigue after coming to the aid of a pregnant woman being chased by gunmen.

Now, I like Clive Owen (I’m a fan of Close My Eyes, Croupier, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead, Children Of Men and Inside Man, and the Sharman and Second Sight TV series); I like Monica Bellucci (Dobermann etc); and I most definitely like Monica Bellucci as a lactating hooker.

I like how this film starts, and gets down to business straight away, no preamble, no exposition, just foot down and through the gears. And I like how (certainly to start with) this preposterous actioner is played out just how its title suggests – in full-on, video game style, lots of pointless running around and jumping and shooting and unlimited magazines and laws-of-physics-defying physicality.

But then, as it slows down, it attempts to rationalise the irrational, to explain the inexplicable, to hint at some sort of reason behind all of this silly nonsense. Trying to do this this undermined my enjoyment. As such, FAIL.

Knocked Up title screen

Knocked Up
On paper, a repulsive film – drunken one-night stand, unwanted pregnancy, woman pressured into dieting for her job, idle slob the father – but this one has real charm, as seems to be the way with Judd Apatow and his rep company of likable slackers (like lead actor Seth Rogen). Katherine Heigl excels as Alison, the woman at the centre of it all.

Zack And Miri Make A Porno title screen

Zack And Miri Make A Porno
Non-View Askewniverse, non-Jersey Kevin Smith film, with Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Smith as platonic friends down on their luck who decide to make a skin flick to bail themselves out of financial trouble. You can guess how it pans out, but despite its predictability I really rather enjoyed it, and so did the LLF.

Smokin' Aces title screen

Smokin’ Aces
Joe Narc Carnahan does a convoluted, colourful actioner about a bunch of law enforcement types, hitmen, bounty hunters and psychopaths all trying to get to a Vegas-showman-turned-Mob-boss-wannabe (Jeremy Piven), who’s holed up in the penthouse of a Lake Tahoe hotel. It doesn’t work, but there’s interesting elements. A gayed-up Ben Affleck, Common giving a great – practically Shakespearean – performance, Taraji P Henson and Alicia Keys as assassins with sapphic undertones, a trio of redneck Nazi nutter brothers, and an ADHD kid are amongst the highlights, but ultimately it just doesn’t pull together with any satisfaction.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace title screen

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Never seen it before, and I don’t think I will again, willingly. A clumsy mess of dull exposition, extended toy adverts and shonky CGI.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones title screen

Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones
Never seen it before, and I don’t think I will again, willingly. A clumsy mess of dull exposition, extended toy adverts and shonky CGI.