A Week In Film #039: All roads lead to Dorset

Clue title screen

Clue
Boardgame Cluedo in film form. That means a plot. A very convoluted plot. And three alternate endings. Tim Curry keeps things moving as the butler who reveals the plot to both the audience and the people summoned to a remote mansion house one stormy night. Enjoyable, just don’t think too hard.

Mercenary For Justice title screen

Mercenary For Justice
A Stephen Seagal film, in which he is a mercenary. A mercenary for justice, if you will, because in this film mercenaries are agents of good. I was gobsmacked. Oh, and Luke Goss (yes, Luke Goss from Bros) plays an evil renegade CIA man (on introduction his character captioned ‘CIA DIRTY DEEDS MAN’!).

The best thing in it is Spike Lee collaborator Roger Guenveur Smith, who plays another evil renegade CIA dude. Seriously, he puts on this really weird pantomime voice, and does this odd bulging eye thing. I’m 99% certain that he knows how crap the film is and is just being as outrageously silly as possible.

Sleuth title screen

Sleuth
Young hairdresser Michael Caine is summoned to a large country pile by successful crime novelist Laurence Olivier, who has discovered that his wife is having an affair. Things soon start getting dark. Sort of An Inspector Calls spliced with One Flew Over The Cuckold’s Nest, directed by Joseph L Mankiewicz from Anthony Shaffer’s play,

The Man Who Would Be King title screen

The Man Who Would Be King
John Huston’s marvellously old fashioned take on Rudyard Kipling’s tale of a pair of wily British soldiers who end up ruling over a minor Indian kingdom by virtue of one of them being mistaken for a god. Michael Caine and Sean Connery make a fine partnership.

Pusher title screen

Pusher
Properly take-your-breath-away awesome, a Danish film about a mid-level drug dealer (Frank – Kim Bodnia) who finds himself squeezed between a rock and a hard place after an exchane goes sour. Director Nicolas Winding Refn drags amazing performances out of his actors.

Pusher II title screen

Pusher II
This time round we’re focusing on Tonny (Mads Mikkelsen – the bad guy from Casino Royale), the sidekick of Frank in the first film. He’s just come out of gaol, and we discover he’s got an awkward relationship with his crime boss dad, who thinks he’s a braindead tosser, and his girlfriend, who thinks he’s a braindead tosser. Not as dark as the first film, it’s still gripping.

Pusher 3 title screen

Pusher 3
Rounding off Refn’s trilogy, now we’re hanging around Serbian druglord Milo (Zlatko Burić), who’s in a spin trying to prepare for his daughter’s birthday party whilst simultaneously attempting to pull off multiple deals on the side, protecting his back from various young bloods hoping to topple him from his throne, and attending NA meetings. Like in the previous meetings, you do find yourself rooting for some pretty unpleasant people.

Made title screen

Made
Jon Favreau’s first W&D credit is decent enough, just not outstanding. Him and his best buddy (guess what – Vince Vaughn) are hired by the Mob to take care of some business for them in New York, and generally fuck it right up.

The Falcon And The Snowman
John Schlesinger directs a based-on-a-true-story film about two childhood friends who end up spying for the Soviets. Timothy Hutton is the man troubled by what the CIA is doing overseas after learning some dark secrets in his work for a government contractor, Sean Penn is his cokefiend best friend who hooks him up with the KGB.

The Philadelphia Experiment II title screen

The Philadelphia Experiment II
Definitely more interesting than the film this follows, because it’s all about an alternate universe where thanks to some timetravel experiment that fucked up the Nazis developed stealth bombers and won WW2. Obviously there are good guys trying to reverse it all, and it is very silly, but come on! Timetravelling Nazis with stealth bombers!

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